Nothing to do with fashion.

June 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

Sometimes memories trickle forth like long forgotten enemies, taunting you with all you didn’t know then, and pushing you to begrudgingly accept all you know now. It’s interesting, the way our perceptions change over time as we get older, wiser, more bitter in our view of the world. How exactly does it happen? When exactly does it happen? I try to pinpoint the time in my life when I started holding on to things — the little things that build up, bubble over, and froth forth like some sort of toxic waste, eating up the little bits of light in my life, in my childhood, lingering over me during the years as I got older, wiser, more bitter in my view of the world. The little things become bigger, cloud the aspects of my life that I’d like to remember, but somehow can’t anymore, each day the good parts of my childhood growing smaller and smaller, until all I have left is the ugliness. How do people rid themselves of it? I used to wonder that all the time; I still wonder it from time to time, but things have slowly become clearer to me. Gradually, with much resistance, much fighting, arguing, and denial, I have realized what I need to erase all of the ugliness I’ve clung to for so long, and he waits for me, patiently, as I slowly inch my way towards him, smiling.

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